I Am Fat And Out Of Shape

Okay not really fat, but definitely out of shape. Here I am ready to ship to basic training June 23 and truth is Im really not all that ready.

In order to be deemed physically fit enough just to enter basic the requirements are:

13 pushups

NO PROBLEM

17 sit-ups

AGAIN, NO PROBLEM

1 mile in 8 1/2 minutes

MAJOR PROBLEM

The problem does not lie in the fact that as of this very moment my mile is about one minute over where it should be, but in that Im shooting for 2 miles in 15 minutes & 42 seconds.

Why am I shooting for that when Im only required to do 1 mile in 8 1/2 minutes??

Well for starters its the difference between about $1,200 a month and $1,600 a month if I can meet the Army Physical Fitness Test prior to going to basic.

Here is what required at the end of the 9 weeks of basic training:


42 pushups in 2 minutes

EASY

53 sit-ups in 2 minutes

TOO EASY

2 miles in 15 minutes & 42 seconds

TOO HARD

Now at the end of basic if I can not meet those requirements then basic is extended for me and I will be sent to what is called "fat camp". I am 130lbs I really dont want to be sent to fat camp. "

Im not worried about that to much though, if you can not reach those goals by the end of basic than you are a flunkie and do not belong in the Army in the first place. What I am worried about is reaching that goal prior to basic.

BEFORE BASIC=E2=MORE MONEY

FAIL TO DO SO BEFORE BASIC=E1=LESS MONEY

So here I am at the track today trying to get my ass in shape enough to do my 2 miles in times and Im getting overlapped by people that do belong in fat camp and Im just realizing I have my work cut out for me. Im going back everyday though and I guarantee I will meet that goal soon.

I Hate Stupid People

I really dont mind stupid people being stupid, as long as it doesnt affect me than by all means please go about your buisness. However what really does get on every one of my last nerves is when stupid people talk to you as if you are the stupid one in the conversation. Let me give you an example.

My gas light came on tonight, so I pulled into a Hess for some gas. I walk up to the clerk hand her $30 and go on my merry way. I get out to my pump and its not starting, so I walk inside and ask her what Im doing wrong because its not pumping. She informs me that I already pumped my gas.

WTF??

I tell her I really didnt and that I am still on dead empty. She tells me I must not have put enough to get past empty.

Again.... WTF??

I tell her that not only is it impossible to pump $30 of gas in less than a minute but it is also impossible to put $30 in your tank and still be on empty. She says she does not know what to tell me but that I did in fact pump my gas and there was nothing more she could do for me.

Arghh!! WTF!!

At this point I am really starting to lose my cool. Shes looking at me like Im some low life trying to get more gas than I payed for and Im looking at her like she better figure this out because Im not leaving without my gas. Finally I had enough, I ask her for my receipt. She walks over to the register to print it out, looks at her screen, and says "oh...."

AH HA!!

She walks over to me with my receipt and tells me that it should work now. Avoiding any further headache I take my receipt and walk away without a word, just a look that said it all:

"I was right all along and you were wrong, but thats okay. Im going to go pump my gas now. I will leave you alone now to attend to whatever other stupidness you may have had planned for the evening......"